Before moving oveseas we read a lot about culture shock and talked to a lot of people who had experience living for long periods in another culture. Everyone knows that its tough to live far from home and anything familiar. I had even heard many people talk about the phases of culture shock:
The honeymoon period: at first its such a fun adventure and everything is new and cool\
The crash: then you get really homesick , possibly depressed and everything in your host culture seems just wrong and awful in comparison with the "right" way it was done back home
The new "normal": hopefully, if you can fight through the gloomy days and learn to see all of your world with a little more compassion and patience, you make it to a phase where your emotions are more steady in regards to your host culture and you can begin to live a more "normal" feeling life.
I was surprised to learn about a month before our move that most people in their new "normal" only really ever operate at 80% of their previous capacity. I thought, "Well, we're young and flexible, so I bet that won't apply to us."
HA!
I can happily and confidently say that I believe we are adjusting well and have reached a new "normal," and we are moving into a stage where I can say that we are not just surviving, but thriving! However, life is just a little bit more difficult when everything you do has to be filtered through a 2nd culture translator (and often a 2nd language) before you do it. Often the "natural" way you grew up doing things doesn't exist here, and the local way (and only way) to accomplish something just requires extra effort on the part of your body or brain.
Examples:
1) No dishwasher in the kitchen
2) No dryer for clothes - this means a lot of ironing :p
3) No street names or signs, no addresses - directions are given by landmarks..... (directions to the homes of every person I know in town: "after the big brown rock, turn right onto the dirt road. Ours is the sand colored house with the palm tree.")
4) No mailbox (because there is no address)
5) No online bill pay (if you are thinking about #4 and how that works, our power/water bill is wedged in our front gate each month and we take it to the offices to pay in person)
6) Food goes bad faster, so planning ahead for the week is much more difficult
7) Often the thing I went to find in the grocery store is out - gotta call an audible on dinner plans
8) traffic patterns are waaaayyyyy different
I don't notice the toll all of the time. But if I have had an unusually busy day, or two in a row, I almost have to shut myself in the house for a few days to recover. Sometimes energy doesn't come when it should.
You definitely notice it in unusual situations like when your car breaks down or an A/C in the house breaks. You know you need to call the repairman, but when you consider ALL of the steps - communicating with someone who speaks NONE of the languages you do, opening your home to strangers, providing the obligatory waters and sodas, possibly waiting around for hours while he goes to purchase a part, cleaning up the mess when they leave - some days you just find it less tragic to sit in your house as it heats to 110 F than to muster the energy at the end of the day to manage such an event! people survived before A/C right?
None of these things are dealbreakers in any way. And I am certainly not complaining; I love my life here! It is even exhilirating to find yourself adeptly managing things that once seemed so un-manageable (i.e. I LOVE gunning through hundreds of roundabouts a day driving my stick shift! I get my NASCAR driver genes from my mother). In fact, all of these more tiring things have become so much easier with time and practice.
All of that to say, we do find ourselves in need of our down time as much now as ever, since we have discovered that we are in fact just like all the other humans and our new normal as we navigate daily life is probably around 80%.
The honeymoon period: at first its such a fun adventure and everything is new and cool\
The crash: then you get really homesick , possibly depressed and everything in your host culture seems just wrong and awful in comparison with the "right" way it was done back home
The new "normal": hopefully, if you can fight through the gloomy days and learn to see all of your world with a little more compassion and patience, you make it to a phase where your emotions are more steady in regards to your host culture and you can begin to live a more "normal" feeling life.
I was surprised to learn about a month before our move that most people in their new "normal" only really ever operate at 80% of their previous capacity. I thought, "Well, we're young and flexible, so I bet that won't apply to us."
HA!
I can happily and confidently say that I believe we are adjusting well and have reached a new "normal," and we are moving into a stage where I can say that we are not just surviving, but thriving! However, life is just a little bit more difficult when everything you do has to be filtered through a 2nd culture translator (and often a 2nd language) before you do it. Often the "natural" way you grew up doing things doesn't exist here, and the local way (and only way) to accomplish something just requires extra effort on the part of your body or brain.
Examples:
1) No dishwasher in the kitchen
2) No dryer for clothes - this means a lot of ironing :p
3) No street names or signs, no addresses - directions are given by landmarks..... (directions to the homes of every person I know in town: "after the big brown rock, turn right onto the dirt road. Ours is the sand colored house with the palm tree.")
4) No mailbox (because there is no address)
5) No online bill pay (if you are thinking about #4 and how that works, our power/water bill is wedged in our front gate each month and we take it to the offices to pay in person)
6) Food goes bad faster, so planning ahead for the week is much more difficult
7) Often the thing I went to find in the grocery store is out - gotta call an audible on dinner plans
8) traffic patterns are waaaayyyyy different
I don't notice the toll all of the time. But if I have had an unusually busy day, or two in a row, I almost have to shut myself in the house for a few days to recover. Sometimes energy doesn't come when it should.
You definitely notice it in unusual situations like when your car breaks down or an A/C in the house breaks. You know you need to call the repairman, but when you consider ALL of the steps - communicating with someone who speaks NONE of the languages you do, opening your home to strangers, providing the obligatory waters and sodas, possibly waiting around for hours while he goes to purchase a part, cleaning up the mess when they leave - some days you just find it less tragic to sit in your house as it heats to 110 F than to muster the energy at the end of the day to manage such an event! people survived before A/C right?
None of these things are dealbreakers in any way. And I am certainly not complaining; I love my life here! It is even exhilirating to find yourself adeptly managing things that once seemed so un-manageable (i.e. I LOVE gunning through hundreds of roundabouts a day driving my stick shift! I get my NASCAR driver genes from my mother). In fact, all of these more tiring things have become so much easier with time and practice.
All of that to say, we do find ourselves in need of our down time as much now as ever, since we have discovered that we are in fact just like all the other humans and our new normal as we navigate daily life is probably around 80%.
No comments:
Post a Comment